July 28, 2024: Fred.

We held Fred’s memorial service and celebration of life yesterday and I’ve had a couple people reach out asking if I could post what I shared. Probably because I was crying so much, they wanted to know what I was actually saying. Ha! Yesterday wasn’t easy, as saying goodbye before we’re ready never is, but I wake up this morning with a heart so full. Full because I’m surrounded around my family who loves the Lord, my kids who are hurting, still sharing memories and what they loved about their Grandpa Fred that they miss so much, they are pros at surrounding us with comfort when the emotions come, proud of our family for going into that place and wanting to shine for and share Jesus so badly, our hearts are hurting, but they are still so full. That’s Jesus.

After the service, we stopped at one of our favorite restaurants and just talked, laughed, cried some more, it was the sweetest way to end the night with my people. My people who make facing the hard so much easier. I love them so much.

Fred.

When praying about what to say today, how to open up, how to possibly put into words everything that Fred means to us, how we can look back and see God’s hand in giving him to our family, how much we miss him, and how while we’re so incredibly sad to be here for this reason, we also grieve WITH hope, we mourn knowing that Fred is with Jesus, and never once has Jesus left nor forsaken us as we walk through yet another loss we were not ready for. You see, I stand here realizing that we have been here before. Grief and loss, death is all too familiar for us. Only two years ago, we lost my dad and while that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to walk through, Fred was there for us. Fred was there for our kids, not only was he there, but we found such hope and comfort in knowing we still had him, our kids still had a Grandpa to love on them, to make memories with, all to have to walk through saying goodbye to him too.

You see, we know loss. We know grief and the heart break of saying goodbye when we’re not ready to. But do you know what else we know? We all can stand here confidently and share that we may grieve, and cry, and mourn the loss of Fred today, but Jesus changes everything. We know not only is Fred in a place where the Bible says, “Jesus will wipe away every tear from his eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Behold, He is making all things new!” the Bible also says that our “citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.” Wait, there’s more! In John, it says “He will give him eternal life, and that he will not perish, and no one will snatch him out of his Hand.” You see, Fred is with Jesus! He isn’t alone, he isn’t wishing to be back here with all of us today, He is in a place where our hearts were created to long for, that hurt in you that longs for a place of no more suffering, no more pain - your Father put that in you, you weren’t created for this world.

We grieve WITH hope. We will see Fred again. You see, God actually used my mom to share Jesus with Fred. In John 3:16 it says that whoever believes in Jesus shall not perish, but have eternal life and together, Fred gave his life to Jesus, and accepted Him into his heart. And we saw it! Fred wasn’t a stranger to loss either, losing both of his parents at such a young age, when I first met Fred he held onto so much anger, so much hurt - and when I think of who Fred was now, all I can think of is sweet, supportive, encouraging, loving, intentional, Fred truly was the best to all of us, and our lives will forever be so much better because God gave him to us.

I know you’re probably hearing more about Jesus today than maybe you’re even ready to here, but I would be doing you all a disservice if I didn’t share my weapon in facing the hard, in being able to stand up here, to walk through another loss that breaks our hearts, it’s because of verses like this that help me to push forward: y’all the Bible is not just words, following Jesus isn’t just going to church or following a religion, Jesus is my life, He comforts us, even here, even now. Jesus changes everything.

In Lamentations it says, “I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness!” In Psalms it says, “But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine. We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.”

Here we are, we’re still here. We will take the best of care of my mom, who is walking through such heartbreak and loss, and it’s because of Jesus. He is taking care of each one of us, He has never left us, and He never will.

If you find yourself in a place where you feel far from God, if you’re not sure where to even start in having a relationship with Jesus, I encourage you to reach out to me, maybe start watching online sermons from our church, start reading through the book of John, pray, listen to worship music (Brandon Lake is my favorite right now), just seek Him, bring him your ugly, your doubts, your anger and hurt, I promise He can handle it, you were created to be known by your Father, and know Him. I’m always here, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Thank you so much for everyone who has prayed for us, fought for us, showed up for us, you have no idea how much it means to us. We are thankful for each and every one of you and nothing goes unnoticed. We love you!